Oh what a crazy week. As is typical with this time of year Alex is sick again. He seems to get a ton of colds this time of year. Yesterday and again today I kept him home. He hasn't been able to shake this thing for a couple of weeks and I'm hoping a couple of days off and some extra sleep will help him fight it. We were supposed to have playgroup here today, but with Alex at home I canceled. So, my house is clean and nobody came to mess it up. Yipee! I missed seeing all of my friends, but it's nice to have a cleaned up house.
Of course I also missed yoga yesterday and haven't exercised all week. I'm really feeling that today, but can't get the motivation back up to move. More on that next week.
For right now my biggest concern is my sweet little dylan, ok sweet is not usually how I describe him, but right now I'm seeing him differently. I think I wrote about the call from his teacher a couple of weeks ago. I talked to his teacher and discovered he's having a very rough time at school. He's quit doing crafts with out the teacher right beside him. He says he can't do it "good enough". He also won't practise writing. He can't play with the other kids, because he has to build the picture on the box and if someone else has a piece that he needs he falls apart. She also said he sits on the rug and puts his hands on the sides of his head and looks down. She hears him talking about other kids not sitting right, or in the right place. So, pretty much the kid is doing no learning and a lot of stressing.
After hearing that, I called the doc back and made an appointment with a child psychologist. Mark and I met with her on Monday morning. So we talked to her and she said that it sounds like he has Anxiety disorder. So, on Monday he will be meeting with her for the first time. It is so hard for me to deal with this. I know she will help him to learn to cope with this. It's so hard for me because I see myself in him and I'm struggling with knowing that he is getting this from me. I'm also big time fighting my mommy urge to pull him out of school. If he's not getting anything from and is having such a hard tim at school why not keep him at home with me. Of course, that only helps me. If I do that he won't learn how to deal now and next year we'll have to start all this over.
Then, I took him to the dentist this morning and he totally lost it. Now this isn't the first dentist appointment for him and he's never had a problem before, but wow was it different. I had to hold his hands and he fought the hygenist big time. She had the dentist come in and Dylan did ok with him, but it was a major effort to get through it.
So, please pray for my munchkin and me. I know he's getting help and will be fine, but I'm fighting my own anxiety and not a little guilt as we begin this whole process.
3 comments:
I know how you are blaming yourself. We are way too much alike, my friend. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Okay, now that I have screamed at you, just know that you are doing the right thing for Dylan by following through. It's going to be fine when you come out on the other side of this mountain that you're facing. You have my number. I know neither one of us likes the phone, but I'm here for you if you need a long distance shoulder for crying.
Hang in there Beth. Dylan is so lucky to have such a thoughtful and caring mom, thats exactly what he needs right now. Kristi is right, this is not your fault, this is just one of the cards Dylan was dealt and now you are there to help him figure it out. I've been thinking of you and Dylan often, call anytime! Thanks for the update. (I hate the dentist too, I see where he is coming from with that!)
It's hard not to blame ourselves for something we really have no control over. But, try not to let it get to you. Only one parent can give the extra chromosome to a child with Down syndrome and usually it's the mom. I (for reason's I won't go into) had it in my head that even with the odds, hubby was the culprit. I wasn't blaming him, I just thought that (again, I had a reason for these thoughts) However, one day I was looking at her DNA results and discovered it was me. It's not like I had any control over it, but it hurt tremendously. But, in the end, it doesn't matter. It is what it is. I love her and I can't change the fact she has that extra chromosome. We move on from here and do the best we can for her.
Dylan is lucky to have you. You know what he's going through in ways another mom may not. You have done well in life and with your help, Dylan has a very bright future!
((HUGS!))
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