Chocolate anyone?

Well, it's FEb. 13 and I'm having a crappy day. Depression is such an insidious thing. I've been feeling really good and hopeful lately. And then there's today. I woke up and have felt so low all day. I was driving to Dylan's valentine party at school and all I wanted to do was cry. I managed to fake it through the party and when I came home it was all I could do to hold myself together.

Of course when you're an emotional eater like I am I'm fighting a double whammy because I've been doing so well with my weight loss and then today I NEED chocolate. It's not just a want it's this need deep in my soul for the comfort of chocolate. Now I know, logically that I will not feel any better after eating the chocolate, I'll feel worse because then I will have the guilt to go with it.

I just feel so isolated, alone, lonely, hopeless, tired, sad, and on and on. I know none of those things are true. I'm not alone and I have good friends, but on a day like today I can't find that, all I can feel is that heart deep feeling of aloneness. I"m just so sad right now.

I"m fighting it with everything I have right now I don't know what started this I know I've been fighting the anxiety with everything that's going on with dylan, but this was so sudden this morning. Although I probably should have seen the warning signs, I've been very short tempered and easily frustrated this week.

Alright, enough whining. I'm going to make myself get some stuff done and have my concert tonight and tomorrow maybe I'll be in a better frame of mind and actually post some valentine party pictures.