Bad news

I'm sitting here writing this knowing that at least for now I won't share any of this, but if I don't get it out I might never sleep tonight. My heart is breaking. I feel like I've lost a huge part of who I am.



I got fired tonight! There I said it, that's not the whole story, but that's the gist of it. Our organist is retiring and we haven't been able to find anyone interested in a part time job, so they've decided to look for a full time choral director and organist. And that means I've been fired, or maybe, at some point in the future, but then again, maybe the person won't want to direct the choir, so then I can stay on. Sounds great for me doesn't it, so I can plan for the upcoming months, but I might or might not be doing them. Yipee!



I'm so hurt and angry right now, I want to quit now and walk away. Of course, that doesn't take into count that we need the money and that wouldn't be fair to my choir. That and I've made a commitment. I'm not the type to walk out on my comitments.

I"m trying not to bitter, but how do they expect me to do my job and do it well with this hanging over my head. Of course I'm not the only one affected. My 2 coworkers who I love to pieces are also going to lose huge portions of their jobs as well.



In a fit of anger tonight I told Mark I was going to leave the church. But, the more I think about it, I might have to. You see I've been the choir director since we joined. That's who I am. or was. I was the blessing that showed up just at the right time. Who will I be now? I'm not sure I can be at our church for a while. I'll be losing my place. I don't know where I will fit if I'm not the choir director.



So, this former choir director might be looking for a new church for a while. That hurts to say, but no more so than the thought of going to church and not belonging anywhere.



All I know right now is I'm so tired. I just want to sleep, but I know that won't happen anytime soon. Grief has a way of doing that to a person.

Birthday fun!

For Dylan's birthday this year we decided to take him and a group of friends to Flabbergast. It's a great place to play. The boys had such a great time. Good thing, too. I was feeling very under the weather. I never would have made it through a party.

The kids all had a blast! And so did Dylan.

Happy Birthday Dylan!

Happy Birthday Dylan!

It's so hard to believe that Dylan is actually 7 years old tomorrow. Time flies by so fast.

He was such a cute little baby and so very sweet.

He has always been such a goofball. Everything about his face was always full of delight and laughter.

I think this is one of my favorite pictures of Dylan, what an amazingly sweet monkey face he has.

Gotta love that first birthday picture. How exactly do I blow this candle out again.

Then we get to this little monkey. He is still the sweetest most loving, little boy on the planet. He has a huge spirit and enough energy to light up a room. We're still working on controling it, but we'll get there.

Happy birthday, Dylan!

A busy weekend!

Can it really have been months since I last posted? What a crazy time we've had. After Christmas we went to Florida to visit both sets of grandparents and Mickey. Then came all of the catching up and getting back into the swing of things. We've also had a couple of concerts, but hey, lets start where we are.

This weekend we finally got around to painting our bathroom. It has needed it since we moved in. Not so much because we didn't like the color, but because there was a big gash out of one of the walls. Well, we didn't plan on really changing the color, but the new color is much different from the old one. It's a richer color and we really like it. Now I just have to get the bathroom put back together. Tomorrow's project.

Then we had one more change in our house. Last night Dylan was getting ready for bed and bumped into the top bunk. Mark yelled for me and I came running up to see Mark sitting with a bloody towel on Dylan's head. The good news, it was a typical head wound, lots of blood but minimum actual damage. After cleaning him up came the bad news. He absolutely refused to sleep on his bed under the top bunk. "I don't like this bed, I don't like the top bunk, I want a new bed." He was just adamant. This is the kid that doesn't change his mind about stuff. So, today we dismantled the bunk bed and are in the process of rearranging his room. We still can't decide how we want things, but at least he now can and will sleep in his bed. Then he announced that we needed to repaint his room, because the gray, "just isn't working for me."

Gotta love that boy. So, that's our exciting weekend.

Now maybe next week I'll manage to post some other stuff.