Venting!

Okay, this post is for me. I need to vent and get it all out. So, if you want to move on please feel free.

This year has been really rough for Dylan and I this year. He has a very strict teacher (which is not a bad thing at all). She is a great teacher once you adjust to her rules and expectations, not easy at all for my boy. All I hear about school is I have to work all day and I'm not learning anything.

Then there is the bus, they have a mean bus driver. No way around it, he is mean and I have heard from some friends whose kids are older and ride the bus that Dylan is getting yelled at regularly.

Then add in that he has Mr. P in library, also strict. And of course the ever present challenge of Sensory Integration Disorder and my boy is really struggling. Things are just not going well.

Then of course there's mom, I don't have the most patient personality (something I'm working on). I'm trying to figure out how to balance both jobs, kids, school, etc. Every morning we have something that is nothing, but still something. Some days it can take us 30 minutes to work out that something. Today I wound up loosing my cool and yelling at him. So, I ask for a hug as he's heading out to the bus and he said no, you were mean to me." Talk about break my heart. I am such a bad mom.

I just don't know what to do. I can't figure out what to do to help him right now. It's always something. He really doesn't want to ride the bus. And I can't take him everyday. It's not realistic nor do I want to start that because he used to love the bus. I"m at a loss, and feeling so sad about it all right now. I left work today feeling so fragile. I feel like I'm right on the verge of tears all the time, not to mention how hard it is to keep up with everything right now. This is really triggering a real surge in my depression at a time when I tend to have an upswing in my struggles anyways. So, the boys will be home in 10 minutes and we'll have a discussion about what will help us to make morning a little easier and go from there.

Then I get to gear up for choir rehearsal, totally not ready on so many levels. Not that I can't pull it together and make it work, but things go better when I'm really prepared and in a better place emotionally.

Thanks for listening to me vent if you made it through.

First day of school!

Well here it is the first day of school. What we've all been gearing for the last couple of weeks.

Dylan is anxious and excited. A big first grader! I'm really excited about his teacher. I think she'll be really good. We'll see what he says when he gets back this afternoon.

Alex on the other hand is all about the excitement. He couldn't wait for today to come. He's pretty excited about his teacher. Although he already has homework for Friday.

Of course then there was the little matter of the bus this morning. The boys were up really early and out to the bus as soon as I let them head out. The bus was supposed to come at 8:22, when it hadn't come by 8:45 (school starts at 8:50) I piled all the kids from the bus stop into the van and took them all to school.

We got there just as the Pledge was finishing. Our neighbor said that it hadn't come by 9:00 when she stopped watching, but by the time I left school at 9:20 the bus had finally arrived. Quite the way to start the new school year.

Here is a picture of all the kids in the backseat. Alex got to ride in front for the quick ride.

Update: Well, after the kids finally got off the bus (Alex in tears). I talked to the bus driver, it seems our kids are not on his route, or he didn't know they were on his route until the kids were the only ones left and he had no more stops. When he called the bus company they told him that the kids had been added. Hmmmmmm! Well, right now I'm on the phone with the bus company. Hopefully that will get worked out!

Alex said his day was great, he has an assignment notebook to keep track of his work and already has things written in it. Loves his teacher and can't wait for the rest of the year.

Dylan started to sob when pressed about his day. It appears he got in trouble for messing around on the bus. And discovered that his teacher is going to be strict. He came home with a list of his specials, written by him and said he's not happy about ANYTHING. I hope tomorrow is a better day for him. I have heard that Mrs. H is strict, but is also very clear on what is expected of the kids. I think it will be good for him, but a challenge to get used to.